Friday, September 29, 2006

Questions to ponder...

1. If the Exclusive Brethren are trying to overthrow the Labour Government, are the Open Brethren trying to support it?

2. Now that Waterboarding has been made safe, legal and rare, when is Jack Bauer going to start using it?

Monday, September 18, 2006

Evil Popish Plot revealed!

Remember the Good Old Days when the Papal utterances were reduced to soundbites that easily could be dismissed with a "whatever" if you didn't agree with them? Y'know those lengthy condemnations of contraception, homosexuality, masonry and so forth? Now by seeming to slight Islam, Pope Benedict has forced otherwise reasonable people to pour over his speech and ponder upon what it means for society whether God is Logos or absolutely Transcendant.

Now all the Pope has to do is to lace all his speeches with spicy medieval slurs against Islam (of which there is an inexhaustible supply in the Vatican secret archives*) and people will be reading them intensely until Doomsday.

*What's the point of having Secret Archives if you have a official website for them? Doesn't that defeat its purpose somewhat? The next thing that'll happen is that the Exclusive Brethren, for whom using the internet is wicked sin, have their own website...

Friday, September 15, 2006

Al Qaeda threatens France

This is absolutely terrible news. All Al Qaeda has to do is to bombard the Elysee Palace with news of Panzers at Sedan and the French will surrender.

Monday, September 11, 2006

The King of Tonga is dead

King Tupo IV of Tonga has died. What are the things we can say about him?

He was more democratic than King Fahd of Saudi Arabia,

His family life was mild compared to King Birenda of Nepal,

He was kinder to critics of his rule than King Hassan of Morocco, and

He met with fewer crooks than Prince Rainier of Monaco.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Two most predictable things said today

Peter Jackson to remake Dambusters: "What are you going to call the dog?"

Steve Irwin killed by Sting-ray: Crikey!